im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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