From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
