Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
