You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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