i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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