How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
