isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
