Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
