I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
