Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Pappa wants mamma naked
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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