I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
