she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
