He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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