There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize