absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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