i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
