break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize