how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
