While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Is it because I queefed?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
