Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
