He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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