No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She tied me up with her honor cords...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
These tits shall not be calmed
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize