I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
