I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
