I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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