using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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