Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
