Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
