I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
