Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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