I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
