and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
