Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize