The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
