Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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