wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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