he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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