Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
