He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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