you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
