apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
