So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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