Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
is wine microwaveable?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
