You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
