i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
