I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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