Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
This toilet bowl is my home.
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