Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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