two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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