This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize