when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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