and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
