You just made me feel so damn special
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
