love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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