I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
