This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
