Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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