shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
