on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
