Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize