so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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