new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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