I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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