I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
