Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
