ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
