How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
