Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
