For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
