What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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