I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize