Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
