fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
