A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
