did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
just tell him i said nine months
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Someone signed my nipple.
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