yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
