that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
