Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
