Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
