i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
