Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Even my vagina gasped.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
