after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
