i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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