I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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