At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
